The Alleyway

By Alana Edgin
On April 6, 2017

OMG everyone, my boyfriend is an absolute innocent.

So I’m scrolling through Facebook, talking to JS, and I see this long post on side chicks. So I tell my boyfriend, "babe, if you ever, even in your dreams, think about having a side chick, I will destroy you."

"What’s a side chick?"

I sat there, shocked. How is my boyfriend such an innocent? Then it gets better. I begin to prepare to tell him what a side chick is, and he stops me.

"No, let me tell you what I have in my head first."

So here comes his explanation. An adorable baby chicken, this little yellow fluff ball, is walking around with a piece of chocolate. Two robbers, who just robbed a bank, run into him, and stepped on his chocolate. Well, that doesn’t go down too well.

This chick, which can fit in someone’s hand, rushes them with this toy knife. They think it’s a cute little thing and pick him up. Bad idea. Chick goes Kung Pao on their ugly mugs.

The two guys are terrified and trying to run away, but the little chick is all over them with these martial art skills and a toy knife.

Then this big hero guy walks up. The chick stops before he sees, and runs up to Hero Man in tears.

"Chick, what’s wrong?"

The two men are still cowering in the corner. They will never recover from this vicious attack.

"They stole my chocolate!" The little chick is crying, and passerby are glaring at the men like they are monsters.

The new guy is the town hero, and "Chick" is his sidekick… Side chick…

Let’s all just appreciate how completely adorable and innocent my boyfriend is. Now, think about this Kung Pao-erful chicken.

I cannot stop laughing at this beautiful image.

Continuing my boyfriend’s adorable story, the police arrive on the scene. Little chick is crying in Hero Man’s hand. The two bad guys are crying from fear. A crowd is glaring at the men and shouting "how could you hurt this poor baby chicken?!"

Police arrive, and ask the men what happened.

"The chick tried to kill us!"

"That little fluff ball?"

"YES!"

"No way, y’all are going to jail."

And that concludes my boyfriend’s rendition on what a side chick is.

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