Coherent Insanity: Adulting tips

By Patrick Fleming
On March 9, 2017

I realized that when some people come to college, they may not be able to make the transition from being a high-schooler to a full-fledged adult.

Of course, as a completely mature adult, I felt it was my duty to give some helpful tips.

1. Do Your Taxes: Now the average adult does their taxes about twice maybe three different times a week.

Not only does it build character, but it helps you become good at math and lying, which are very important traits for anyone to have.

2. Obtain Children: If we have heard anything from parents, it is that someone’s life is not complete until they have had children.

I, for example, have three different kids of my own and I whole-heartedly agree with that.

Now you may be wondering how someone as young as me might have gotten three kids legally. Well, the answer is, I didn’t.

3. Talk About Politics: Now, this one can be alarming, because you might start to think you will have to study weeks on end for this, but the truth is, you do not have to research anything to talk about politics.

All you have to do is believe and yell.

If by some, chance you find yourself arguing with someone who actually is educated, do not panic.

If you just bring up false facts and scream them out like a viking, you will still win the argument and, in turn, life.

Of course, if you lose an argument, you are then required to live in exile until the end of your days.

This is why everyone who I have ever argued with has never been seen again.

4. Get A Job: Yes, one of the downsides to being an adult is that you are required to have a job of some kind.

Some people are lucky enough to end up with a career that they always wanted as children or one that they genuinely enjoy.

The rest of us have to make do because the world can be a cruel (funny) place sometimes.

Now some people never really get jobs. Instead, they just live with their parents for most of their lives, playing video games in the basement, and being general pains to everyone around them.

Those people are called heroes, but unfortunately, not all of us can be like them.

5. Make Friends: Because no life is complete without at least one person you can call a friend.

Someone who truly understands you and is constantly a part of your life.

If you are lucky enough, the bond will last until the end of time.

6. Make Enemies: This is necessary for pretty much the exact same reasons as making a friend.

This relationship will not end until one of you is dead.

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