Broke college students’ guide for gift giving

By Patrick Fleming
On December 1, 2016

Photo by Kaitlin Trujillo

Many may be shocked to hear this, but I am currently broke and do not have much money to pay for Christmas gifts.

For anyone out there who is broke like me, I thought I would give this guide.

1. Practice origami or something that does not much require money to do.

Origami is probably one of the most respected, but there are others that are pretty cool like making clay sculptures out of play-doh or drawing a picture.

The upsides are how the products to make these objects are cheap to get a hold of. Also, if someone does not like it, they are not allowed to admit it or else they will look rude.

This is something you put a lot of effort in and how dare they say it is not good enough.

The downsides are that it takes weeks or even months of training to master, and until you get the origami swan done perfectly, you will look lame trying to make it.

Also, you might accidentally encourage someone to start doing that too, and before you know it, all you are getting for Christmas are origami swans that actually look better than yours.

2. Buy something really cheap and pretend it is valuable.

This one is a lot like doing origami, except it requires a lot less effort. However, at least some acting skills, money and access to a computer are required to pull this one off.

First, you may have to look online for what looks like a normal product or even go to a McDonald’s and get a Happy Meal. Then, get a permanent marker and start to mark all over it.

Then, go on Wikipedia and write a whole article about your "valuable" product.

The downside is this will only work once. If you give everyone something very valuable every year, it will start to get suspicious.

3. Finally, let’s stop playing around. You know what really needs to be done. Fake your death.

I understand you love your family and friends, but you can get new ones.

Normally this would take around 20 thousand dollars, but remember, we’re working on a budget.

Once you fake your death, the only way to come back to your old life is to pretend it was just a prank or pretend you are a ghost now.

Also, if they think you’re dead, your family might not get you presents. That is just unacceptable.

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